The Footpath to Peace

I found a quote that one of my friends sent me about a month ago. It reminded her of me. It was on my Google homepage for a day under the "Quote of the Day" section. I liked it then. I really like it now. I am kind of obsessed with quotes because I am kind of obsessed with the wisdom of others.

"If you would be a real seeker after truth, it is necessary that at least once in your life you doubt, as far as possible, all things."
-Rene Descartes

Doubts have ceased to become stumbling blocks for me anymore in my journey of faith. They are an opportunity for me to learn more about the character of God. I have stopped demanding answers from a God that doesn't always give us answers.

Now That I See

Last Wednesday I listened to the hymn Amazing Grace three times in my car during my morning drive to school. Sometimes it is necessary for me to be reminded of how great a distance grace has bridged in my life. It is evident to me that the concept of grace has become unescapable this week. When I listened to this familliar hymn it suddenly become unfamilliar, as if some parts I was hearing for the first time. I believe this is possible and that we can be awakened to new ideas every day, as long as we are willing. There is a verse in the middle of the song that is as follows:
"'Twas grace that taught my heart to fear
And grace, my fears relieved."
This statement reveals that grace functions in two parts. This is profound. First, grace teaches us to be humble-hearted and act in obediance to our Creator. It teaches us to fear the Lord. Second, the grace that God has given us casts out human fear. It drives away our fear of death and the fear that we have in living.
I drove past a church sign later in the week that caught my attention. It displayed the statement, "A clear conscience is a comfortable pillow." I think this message misses the point of Christianity entirely. It saddened me. All of our hope for righteousness is in God's grace that was made evident on the Cross. It was never about doing what is right and avoiding what is wrong. As Christians, it would make more sense for our consciences to be more clouded in the wake of acknowledging that we are accountable to someone else for the actions we perform on Earth. We do not sleep well at night because of the good that we manage to do in a day. We should rest in His grace everyday and every night. Christ did not die to make us feel better about ourselves. He did not die so that we can be reconciled or excused from our sinfulness. He died because He loved us. How well we love others is the point.

For your information.

This is my quote of the day, from yesterday:

Me (speaking): I'm not mean. I'm just sassy.

Me (thinking): I don't care what you think. But I do...just sometimes.

"We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us."

"Do one thing every day that scares you." -Eleanor Roosevelt

It is easy to become too content with the familliar,
the status quo, the expectations of others...
To discover what is comfortable and never leave.

My First Day of School: A Natural Disaster, an Indication of What is to Come, or Wisdom from the Divine?

• I left my house 45 minutes before I was scheduled to be in the Welcome Center for my first day working in the office. It takes me 25 minutes to get to Clark College in instances of minor traffic. I got to the college at 8:40. It was not one of those instances. I looked for a parking spot for 20 minutes. I said the f-word a few times because no one could hear me. I said my favorite driving word, shit, like there was no tomorrow. I held back tears every time they surfaced because, as an employee in the Welcome Center my job is to solve other student's problems, not to have any of my own. I couldn't find God anywhere in the parking lot. I know he doesn't want anything to do with driving, parking, traffic, or annoying pedestrians because they are straight from hell. I was five minutes late to work.
• I liked work. I don't like the idea of sitting at a desk in a cubicle, which I will be doing more of later, but for today I was the first person that students saw when they walked into the college. I like that. I like that I can smile and that by helping people, I can make them feel like they belong somewhere. A lot of people who come to Clark College feel uncomfortable in an academic environment. Many are not typical college students. They are adult learners; either they are single mothers (also called "displaced homemakers" because they are unexpectedly having to provide for a family), in a worker retraining program after being laid-off, enrolled in Adult Basic Education courses, learning English as a second language, or are trying to earn their GED after dropping out of high school, sometimes a decade earlier. A community college is an accessible place for people to encounter opportunites that they would not be given elsewhere. The mission of the school is to provide education, using whatever means that can, in whatever capacity people require it. Different is the point. Clark College is one of the most accepting, diverse places I have ever been. I have not been exposed to this kind of environment enough in my life.
• My World Literature class is going to be my favorite. I know this because I know this: I love writing. I love exploring why people write. The class is the first part of a three-part survey, so we are starting from the beginning of time and the existance of written records. We are starting by asking these questions:

1. What were people concerned about in early civilizations? How did these concerns make themselves apparent in writing?
2. Why/how did people begin to acquire knowledge? What was considered knowledge in early societies?
3. How do you create an authentic self?
4. What is a good person? How do you function in the midst of a group of people to both benefit yourself and others?
5. What is the afterlife?

We still ask these questions today.

If we are still asking these same questions, than we haven't found the answers yet.

• "The human species was given dominion over the earth and took the opportunity to exterminate other species and warm the atmosphere and generally ruin things in its own image, but it paid this price for its privieleges: that the finite and specific animal body of this species contained a brain capable of conceiving the infinite and wishing to be infinite itself." -Jonathan Franzen, The Corrections
• There is one more thing about this day that made it golden. I called my friend Mitchell after I was done with classes. He is one of my best friends and I wanted to hear about his first day of school. We were making plans to visit his brother and sister-in-law after school on Wednesday and the topic of my art class surfaced. I told him that I didn't have the class today but that I have it until 3:00 on Wednesday. Hold the phone... literally. I suddenly realized that this is not possible. I missed one of my classes on the first day. I am not that kind of person. These kinds of things just do not happen to me. But today, I was that kind of person. I am starting to think that I am capable of anything. I called the instructor and made a plea to her over a voicemail. I sent her an e-mail. I was desperate to redeem myself. Maybe just explain myself.

The end.