Everything created is redeemed

If the mind was created to know God then everything that comes from the mind-ideas, words, thoughts - in every way - sung, written, spoken, yelled - is a search for God: a plea, a question, a cry, a demand.
I write to know God.
I write to understand something about the world that God created.
I write to see God, to hear God. My writing is a plea for God.
My writing is God, light and my writing is darkness, evil.
I am a mix of God, light, love, beauty and darkness, despair, poverty.
My writing is a mix of beautiful and broken.
Broken words are redeemed by the beautiful ones. I am redeemed by the beautiful one. My writing is my redemption.

Hidden misunderstood
Shared spread
In the telling is the light
Shone on her, shaded from him
How much more broken, how much more beautiful
when heart scars are revealed
Hidden they spread, they infect thoughts and movement
Shared, scared hidden, safe
Shared, safe hidden, scared
What do they decide?

Secrets of a normal family
scarier than truths of a strange one.

My buried self

I am afraid of the future
It is an impending doomsday
I would rather stay frozen in this moment than risk combusting
Life is too great, too scary, too confusing, too unpredicatble
The end of me.
I can only move forward if the essence of another life, if the idea of another human; if the breath of two living lungs can be felt, can be heard, can be seen beside me
Then I am brave.
I can walk to the end of the dock and envision swimming with hot, sticky skin in a cool pool of water.
The deep, dark water does not beckon me to come
Dive into an icy sleep
I walked to the end of the dock yesterday and I was the only one who was not afraid of the noisy fears in my buried self.