My buried self

I am afraid of the future
It is an impending doomsday
I would rather stay frozen in this moment than risk combusting
Life is too great, too scary, too confusing, too unpredicatble
The end of me.
I can only move forward if the essence of another life, if the idea of another human; if the breath of two living lungs can be felt, can be heard, can be seen beside me
Then I am brave.
I can walk to the end of the dock and envision swimming with hot, sticky skin in a cool pool of water.
The deep, dark water does not beckon me to come
Dive into an icy sleep
I walked to the end of the dock yesterday and I was the only one who was not afraid of the noisy fears in my buried self.